ICJudaism: A Teacher’s Guide to Judaism

      Hosted by ICTeachers                                                                Formerly: Mike’s Rough Guide to Judaism

Disclaimer:

The contents of these pages represent the author’s personal views, experience and understanding.
There are bound to be some things here that some Jews would disagree with.

 

Bar Mitzvah

Everyone knows that a Bar Mitzvah is the coming of age ceremony that Jewish boys go through when they reach the age of 13.

Well, technically, everyone is wrong!

According to Jewish custom, when a boy is 13 he is old enough to take responsibility for his own religious life. He  is obligated to keep the commandments and can now take a full part in religious rituals. The phrase Bar Mitzvah (it's Aramaic, not Hebrew) means Son of the Commandment. Bar Mitzvah is not a ceremony so much as a state of being. A boy automatically becomes Bar Mitzvah when he reaches 13 - with or without any ceremony.

Traditionally girls reach the same stage at the age of 12 (although in these days of gender equality 13 is common). They become Bat Mitzvah (It's usually pronounced But Mitzvah). Ashkenazi Jews are more likely to call it Bas (pronounced Bus) Mitzvah. In orthodox communities, where women take no active public role in synagogue services, a girl may prepare and give a D’var Torah (a sermon) after the kiddush at the end of the service or at a special function on the Sunday. Some communities prefer a group ceremony when several girls who have recently reached bat mitzvah will celebrate at a special Bat Chayil service (Chayil has a range of meanings including value, worth, valour, might, nobility). A section in the Book of Proverbs uses the word to describe the ideal Jewish woman). A Bat Chayil service will usually be held on a Sunday where the focus will be much more on the girls' Jewish learning achievements than on religious ceremonial.

When a child becomes Bar/Bat Mitzvah his/her father (in orthodox practice) either or both parent (in progressive practice) will say a prayer thanking God for relieving him/her/them of the burden of responsibility for the child.

Being Bar or Bat Mitzvah does not make a child a full adult member of the community (for instance, they cannot yet marry and would not normally be expected to begin earning a living for several years yet). Nor  does it mark the end of his/her Jewish education - Jewish law and custom requires us to make the study of Torah a lifelong pursuit.

The most important thing that a person can do once they become Bar/Bat Mitzvah is to share in reading the Torah in public. (In orthodox communities, where men and women are seen as having different religious rites and responsibilities, only men read from the Torah in public). In most modern Jewish communities a Bar Mitzvah's first aliyah (being called to read from the Torah) is seen as an occasion for a major celebration. It is this first aliyah which is the visible rite of passage for a Jewish boy or girl and is generally followed by a major party for family and friends. The whole day is usually referred to as “a Bar Mitzvah" and the boy or girl as the bar/bat mitzvah. Celebrating a first aliyah in this way is quite a new thing. It has been a fully established part of Jewish life for only around 400 years.

For the modern Jewish youngster and his/her family though, the Bar Mitzvah celebration is a really important event.

For the child, celebrating bar or bat mitzvah means months of study and preparation. It is a nerve-wracking, yet exciting day. As you sit in the synagogue wearing your new tallit, you feel the eyes of the congregation watching you. It's a full house, of course, far more people than usual. All your far-flung aunts, uncles and cousins have turned up, so have the neighbours and a lot of other people you've never seen before in your life (probably your parents' friends and work colleagues). You wait nervously to be called for your "performance" (but you are nowhere near as nervous as your parents!).

You are not just going to be called to share in the reading by reciting the blessings and watching while the Rabbi reads, but you're  actually going to sing it yourself (to the traditional cantillation melodies), reading from the unpointed text in the Torah scroll (which is not at all easy). You have probably been practising for months!

You might also be going to read the week's Haphtarah, which is a reading from one of the books of the Prophets, reflecting the theme of the week's Torah reading. (In some communities this is sung in Hebrew to a different set of melodies, in others it is read in English). You could also be leading part of the rest of the Shabbat service, too, or giving the D’var Torah (Literally Torah words ie the sermon, sometimes alternatively called the Drasha).

At the end of the service the family will usually make a kiddush for the congregation. Every Shabbat service ends with kiddush (the sharing of wine and bread) but the Bar Mitzvah kiddush will most likely be a buffet with both savoury and sweet dishes. This may be followed by a luncheon for invited guests. In more orthodox communities the main party is likely to be on the following day (ie after Shabbat has ended).

During the party there will be speeches. (The Bar Mitzvah Boy / Girl traditionally announces that "Today I am a man / woman"). There will be presents - money, of course (it goes straight into the bank "for when you are older"), useful grown up things like religious books, pens and brief cases (there is a famous story of the boy who received so many writing implements that, in his speech, he announced, "Today, I am a fountain pen"), and with any luck, lots of the sort of things that 13 year olds actually want.

For a Jew, your Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a day that you never forget - but it doesn't compare with your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah!

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